Explosions Of Change 💥

☆ Red, White & BOOM ☆

1GB Malden Event Page

Of the many changes that have come my way over recent months, one was the opportunity offered to work with my home church’s outreach and media committees this past January. Since that time, there have been several events planned, media blitzed and pulled off without any major noticeable general issues (only ones that those of us behind the curtain would even notice had occurred).

That being said, the BIGGEST of these events is now just DAYS away! As with any well planned event, there’s the frantic frenzy of finally pulling everything together and having it all fall into place just as planned. It’s SO GOOD to once again be an active, contributing, and productive part of something again.

The hardest part was actively making myself get out of the house, pull myself up, and getting a grip. I then allowed myself to acknowledge and accept things as they are now, letting go of what was, and learned to embrace, accept and adjust to things accordingly. In doing that, I’m considerably more active and able to do things then I was just over a year ago.

I’m soooooo excited to also be physically able to help with prep, set up and see everyone! So, if you don’t have plans for the 4th, YOU DO NOW!!!!

☆ Red, White & BOOM ☆

Official Facebook Event Page

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New Year ~ New Beginnings ~ New Me?

We all know that with each New Year there are certain ‘expectations‘ that come with it.  ‘Standards of Excellence‘ if you will.  We’ve come to know them as ‘resolutions‘†.

Resolutions vary from the mundane to the extreme,  some are highly thought out,  others just a whim. There are the standards of losing weight,  quitting smoking, exercise more, spend more time with the family,  get that promotion,  become healthier, etc, and we all know these very well. I’m not negating any of these,  as they are, and will continue to be, valid, but what about those ‘out of the box’ resolutions?

Is there something you’ve always wanted to do,  yet now(for your own reasons and/or restraints)are held back from or does it require a bit of adaptive thought to yet BE accomplished?  Is there a fear that needs conquering?  Is there someone you need to reacquaint yourself with?  Is there forgiveness you seek or needs to be given? Do you know who you TRULY  are and do those around you know ‘you’ too? Have you ever asked another person to describe to you what they see you as,  and is theirs and your own self description, for the most part,  similar and in tandem? 

Everyone desires to be the ‘BEST’ ME they can be.  Everyone wants to reach the resolutions they’ve set for themselves.  Everyone considers becoming the ‘NEW ME’. I say a new me is in the view of others. Don’t be afraid to ask others who you are. You may just find your new me in the ‘YOU’ they see, but you haven’t,  until now.

Happy New Year

Willoweagle

Survivor ~ Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) & Pulmonary Embolism (PE)

†RESOLUTION:.
Dictionary. com ~ Resolution
noun
1. A formal expression of opinion or intention made, usually after voting, by a formal organization, a legislature, a club, or other group.
Compare concurrent resolution, joint resolution.
2. The act of resolving or determining upon an action, course of action, method, procedure, etc.
3. A resolve; a decision or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.
Her resolution to clear her parents’ name allowed her no other focus in life.
4. The mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose:
She showed her resolution by not attending the meeting.
5. The act or process of resolving or separating something into constituent or elementary parts.
6. The resulting state.
…

 

The Truth Is – Blood Clot Recovery Network

There is another side to DVT/PE recovery that remains extremely hidden. So much so that even Survivors themselves barely acknowledge it’s existence. It’s only in finding another Survivor that, with time, once total and complete trust has been mutually proven and gained, that one of them will, in tentatively quiet and wavering voice,  will broach the subject of that which cannot be named fearing that they’re the only one it’s happening to.

I brushed on this slightly last night when posting the latest findings regarding a statement from his wife that was released giving, to some degree, what precipitated events leading up to Robin Williams’ passing.
(See below)

Here, even while coping with what I refer to as the “yucks”, my friend, Sara (Blood Clot Recovery Network) wrote the following article in which she details just this specific topic. In her doing so, she’s explained the unexplainable in it’s simplest form that anyone can learn from and a starting point from where understanding begins..

Blood Clot Recovery Network ~ The Truth Is…..

Living ~ Not Just Surviving: Facebook

~Willoweagle ®

Kindness Or Disservice: Maybe It’s Both

Unfortunately, or fortunately, I’ve come to know that I’m not the only one who does this. It’s a common thread that links the majority of us that were fortunate to survive our embolism experiences. It’s what we believe as being a kindness to those that surround us as a way of keeping their minds at more at ease knowing that they are already overwhelmed, confused, and concerned for our well being. Only to then have major melt downs that can range from anger to sadness and loss, and may even go as far as self loathing/pity due to no longer being what we were before and trying to process, comprehend, and embrace the concept that we will never be again.

This brings up the question of, that, in reality, are we really being kind and considerate, or are we doing them a disservice by not sharing what’s going on both mentally and physically after such life changing events?

What do you think? Kindness or disservice maybe both?

Please share your thoughts and/or experiences regarding this subject.

Remembering Me: Update ~ Part III

Later on I learned what had happened by piecing together what I was told by family after once again waking up in a hospital ICU.

Sick Selfie ~ BJC St. Louis, MO ~ Sept 2013

I’d been airlifted from the accident to the closest trauma unit approximately 90 miles away. My family got there soon after I arrived. On arrival tests were ran per protocol, then triaged which included unsuccessful attempts at getting my hip back into place. I’m unclear as to what happened or exactly what the specific medical necessity was, but from there, I was airlifted for the second time to Barnes-Jewish in St. Louis. I have no memory of this, except for waking up briefly at the end of the second flight panicked at not being able to move, unaware of where I was, and being highly claustrophobic did nothing to help the situation. Luckily, we landed before I had a full blown panic attack only to have them accidentally hit my hip on the helicopter frame when unloading me and passed out once again because of the pain.

I woke up only three times in the trauma unit that I remember. Each was after unsuccessful attempts at putting my hip into place.  My bed was surrounded by the several medical personnel needed for this procedure. The medication used to put me under during these attempts caused me to have terrifying nightmares as I’ve never had before. So much so, before putting me under for the third time, I asked the nurse to stay with me. I  remember exactly what I said to him. This would be the last attempt. That was final. I needed and begged him to stay with me, and not leave until I was completely under. I told him I wasn’t sure I’d come out of where I was being sent back too. I was scared, I was tired, I thought I was going to die…. alone.

I’d not only suffered a dislocated/broken hip which ended up having to be repaired surgically with a bracket and pins, but also several broken ribs, a third degree liver laceration, and a broken tibial plateau (knee) which wasn’t found until five weeks later during my routine post hospitalization follow up appointment with my orthopedist.

Hip Repair

Tibial Plateau Fracture

I was hospitalized for a week. On leaving, I was able to come directly home instead of going to a rehabilitation facility. My mobility was very limited and required the use of either a wheelchair for any extended periods of time or a walker for short distances. I needed assistance with almost everything from using the restroom to getting dressed to showering.

My Assisted Living 'Nest'

Working It Out, Still ~ Physical Therapy ~ March 28, 2014

It’s been six months since the accident and I have yet to get back to where I was physically before everything happened. Then to be told at my last appointment that I never will due to residual damage and deterioration caused by the wreck, my life has once again taken an unforseen, twisted, and wicked turn. Once again, as I’m having to cope, adjust and learn a modified way of daily living, I remind myself . ..

Breathe in,
Breathe out,
Repeat…

Breathe!!!

And that it’s all about isn’t it?? Living ~Not Just Surviving….
👟💖💉💟👟💖💉💟👟

Remembering Me ~ Part II

In June of 2012 I’d achieved the first of my set goals for that year, but still had two more very big ones to meet.

That July we took our then 8 year old granddaughter to see the Atlantic Ocean from the historic Cocoa Beach (where we DID NOT find Jeannie) and then to Disney World where we went to all four parks in just as many days from open to close.

Disney ~ 2012

Disney ~ 2012

On returning home, I continued my journey to a healthier me. When Andrew decided on The Color Run scheduled for April 2013 as our celebratory survivor 5k run in September,  I kicked my Couch to 5k training into full gear. When I had to slow down and the stop training due to not being able to catch my breath when running as I thought I was having my annual bout of bronchitis, I was up to 2.5-3 miles 2-3 times a week.

Christmas day, three weeks later, I was being rushed by ambulance to the nearest CCU with a life threatening saddle clot.

Although I did register for the run that January thinking I’d be fully recovered by April based on previous recovery times, I was sadly mistaken. Andrew ran his celebratory race with my sister looking on and cheering from the sidelines. I cheered and supported him virtually as I couldn’t even make the trip. What followed was another holiday hospitalization on July 4 with bilateral lower extremity DVTs resulting in three months of work medical leave and a further delay in my recovery.

September 10, I went to what was to be my medical release appointment with my physician. Ready and able I was looking forward to returning to work, being productive, and getting back to what had been my daily routine. Everything checked out well. With a written and signed Return to Work form in hand, I returned home mentally and physically ready to  jump back into life. That was not to be the case after all….

On a spur of the moment, late night ice cream run, returning to the house, I passed* out behind the wheel. What resulted was my hitting an 18 wheeler whose driver did his best to avoid my oncoming vehicle leaving him no choice but to jack knife the trailer. I vaguely remember a panicked voice asking if I was okay followed by a bone chilling screamed response of no. Then my husband was there. My repeated apologies for wrecking the car while adamantly stating I’d fix it, but we had to get it home first.

We live a block from where this happened. He’d literally heard the impact in the house. When he couldn’t reach me on my phone is when he looked out the windows, walked over to the scene, and that’s when he saw me. The Rescue team had just finished cutting me out of the car and was placing me on the stretcher. Later on discussing what I remembered, I thought I was still in the car when I saw him not even realizing that I’d been assessed, cut out, back/neck braced, placed on a stretcher and was being put into the ambulance to be taken to the helio pad. Time had no reference or relevance.

*Later on, after medical review, I was told that the cause for my passing out was due to a complete blockage of the IVC filter that had been placed during my PE hospitalization. I’d been resistant to having one placed for years due to the multiple issues/side effects that had been reported post placement by both medical and patient resources. With the occurrence of not only the size but also the rarity of my pulmonary embolism, medical necessity, and family concern I finally gave in and consented to the procedure.

Remembering Me: Update ~ Part III

Remembering Me

Team Andy ~ Coworkers ~ 2012

Team Andy ~ June 2012

Yesterday I was reminded of a time when one of my goals to achieve during a year was to get healthier and physically fit so that I could walk the entire length of a charity walk. This was the year I participated on both Team Andy for Cystic Fibrosis and also a Relay For Life team within 24 hours one weekend. Afterwards, I began training for next year’s first goal which was The Color Run 5k I would run with my son, Andrew.

Relay For Life ~ Survivor Signatures ~ June 2012

The Color Run ~ April 2013 ~ Springfield, MO

What I didn’t know then was that by taking on this initial goal for Miller Time and Charrae Potter and following thru resulting in a then 50 lb weight loss and becoming a runner, is that it would save my life that Christmas. Because of that year’s life changes, what I was told would have killed me previously, a 1″ clot travelled through my heart instead of stopping it permanently. What was done as a heart felt gestures in supporting friends and their families, literally made my heart stronger which in turn saved me too. 💟💖👟💟💖👟

Willoweagle

Remembering Me ~ Part II

To read Royal’s (my son) story of stroke survival and recovery from a Mother’s perspective, follow this link:

Reflections ~ A Mother’s POV: A Royal Recovery Story

To learn more about my story, follow this link:

I’m A Survivor!!!

Shop The Clot – J Wells Brewery Event

Lisa

Wishing I was in Colorado at my friend Lisa ‘s and her husband’s brewery tonight to help celebrate and pay forward everything she’s overcome and then the amazing achievements she’s accomplished this past year. I can honestly and wholeheartedly say that she is one of my Sister Strong Survivors who, without having met, my current recovery would not have been the same. Instead of letting me be ‘me’, she looked past that and was determined I was to be her friend and she didn’t let me stop her even though I did my best to. Despite my many warnings, massive moodiness, lengthy self imposed alone times, social ‘everything is fine’ mask wearing routine desperate attempts at not allowing anyone into the inner circle to see or know the ‘real’ me, she didn’t give up. For that, I’ll always be indebted and grateful. Congratulations!!! You deserve every moment tonight and remember… Take a moment… Breathe in…. Breathe out… REPEAT…

P.S. For all those who were concerned regarding how I would cope with recovery after my PE both mentally and physically having known how difficult it had been previously, this is one of the Sisters you should thank for the complete 180 this time. — feeling hopeful with Lisa Cowan Wells at J Wells Brewery.

Now for the shameless plug…. J. Wells Brewery didn’t end their fundraising efforts when the party did. They will continue to raise charitable funds for the National Blood Clot Alliance with a portion of their proceeds from the sales of Lisa Red Beer and T-Shirts. T-shirts can be purchased online at

I WANT MY T-SHIRT!!!

and information on how to purchase Lisa Red check out

J Wells Brewery – Boulder, CO

Lisa Red Beer T-Shirt

Also, whether you are a Survivor, family member, caregiver, or just want more information given by survivors themselves, be sure to check out the Facebook survivor group that was founded, continues to be operated, and lead by Lisa at Surviving The Silent Killer or follow the link on my Facebook page at Living~Not Just Surviving.

Recovering with Brian Vickers – Blood Clot Recovery Network™

Another inspiring, informative, and personal blog post from my friends at BCRN that I just HAD to share!

Here’s a excerpt from the article Recovering with Brian Vickers

“When I was first diagnosed with at DVT and subsequent PE in June of 2012, I had never felt more alone in my entire life. Once I reached out to some support group online, my loneliness turned into a desire to help bring awareness to blood clots and the life-threatening dangers they present.”

To read in its entirety, click on the link below:

♡Posted from WordPress for Android via Willoweagle’s Samsung Tab 3 ♡

The Color Run That Wasn’t…

tHe cOLoR rUN 2013

tHe cOLoR  rUN 2013 

The Color Run ~ Springfield, MO April 06, 2013

SPRINGFIELD, MO – Downtown Springfield is a little more colorful today. Known as the happiest 5k in the world, the travel Springfield, and the citizens responded by coming out in the thousands. With a message of healthy living, happiness, and giving back to the community, the Color Run is taking the nation, and whole world by storm. In the span of 15 months, the race has grown to be featured in over 60 cities and having over 600,000 participants. Un-timed and not caring about how fast you run, this 5k is a family-friendly outing to remember.

Well……at least I have proof that I was actually going to participate….It arrived this week from my sister….

AND I get to wear this really cool bracelet that reminds me WHY I didn’t get to run in the first place….as you ALWAYS have to learn to walk before you can run…..

The Color Run ~ Springfield, MO April 06, 2013

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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