Remembering Me: Update ~ Part III

Later on I learned what had happened by piecing together what I was told by family after once again waking up in a hospital ICU.

Sick Selfie ~ BJC St. Louis, MO ~ Sept 2013

I’d been airlifted from the accident to the closest trauma unit approximately 90 miles away. My family got there soon after I arrived. On arrival tests were ran per protocol, then triaged which included unsuccessful attempts at getting my hip back into place. I’m unclear as to what happened or exactly what the specific medical necessity was, but from there, I was airlifted for the second time to Barnes-Jewish in St. Louis. I have no memory of this, except for waking up briefly at the end of the second flight panicked at not being able to move, unaware of where I was, and being highly claustrophobic did nothing to help the situation. Luckily, we landed before I had a full blown panic attack only to have them accidentally hit my hip on the helicopter frame when unloading me and passed out once again because of the pain.

I woke up only three times in the trauma unit that I remember. Each was after unsuccessful attempts at putting my hip into place.  My bed was surrounded by the several medical personnel needed for this procedure. The medication used to put me under during these attempts caused me to have terrifying nightmares as I’ve never had before. So much so, before putting me under for the third time, I asked the nurse to stay with me. I  remember exactly what I said to him. This would be the last attempt. That was final. I needed and begged him to stay with me, and not leave until I was completely under. I told him I wasn’t sure I’d come out of where I was being sent back too. I was scared, I was tired, I thought I was going to die…. alone.

I’d not only suffered a dislocated/broken hip which ended up having to be repaired surgically with a bracket and pins, but also several broken ribs, a third degree liver laceration, and a broken tibial plateau (knee) which wasn’t found until five weeks later during my routine post hospitalization follow up appointment with my orthopedist.

Hip Repair

Tibial Plateau Fracture

I was hospitalized for a week. On leaving, I was able to come directly home instead of going to a rehabilitation facility. My mobility was very limited and required the use of either a wheelchair for any extended periods of time or a walker for short distances. I needed assistance with almost everything from using the restroom to getting dressed to showering.

My Assisted Living 'Nest'

Working It Out, Still ~ Physical Therapy ~ March 28, 2014

It’s been six months since the accident and I have yet to get back to where I was physically before everything happened. Then to be told at my last appointment that I never will due to residual damage and deterioration caused by the wreck, my life has once again taken an unforseen, twisted, and wicked turn. Once again, as I’m having to cope, adjust and learn a modified way of daily living, I remind myself . ..

Breathe in,
Breathe out,
Repeat…

Breathe!!!

And that it’s all about isn’t it?? Living ~Not Just Surviving….
👟💖💉💟👟💖💉💟👟

Remembering Me ~ Part II

In June of 2012 I’d achieved the first of my set goals for that year, but still had two more very big ones to meet.

That July we took our then 8 year old granddaughter to see the Atlantic Ocean from the historic Cocoa Beach (where we DID NOT find Jeannie) and then to Disney World where we went to all four parks in just as many days from open to close.

Disney ~ 2012

Disney ~ 2012

On returning home, I continued my journey to a healthier me. When Andrew decided on The Color Run scheduled for April 2013 as our celebratory survivor 5k run in September,  I kicked my Couch to 5k training into full gear. When I had to slow down and the stop training due to not being able to catch my breath when running as I thought I was having my annual bout of bronchitis, I was up to 2.5-3 miles 2-3 times a week.

Christmas day, three weeks later, I was being rushed by ambulance to the nearest CCU with a life threatening saddle clot.

Although I did register for the run that January thinking I’d be fully recovered by April based on previous recovery times, I was sadly mistaken. Andrew ran his celebratory race with my sister looking on and cheering from the sidelines. I cheered and supported him virtually as I couldn’t even make the trip. What followed was another holiday hospitalization on July 4 with bilateral lower extremity DVTs resulting in three months of work medical leave and a further delay in my recovery.

September 10, I went to what was to be my medical release appointment with my physician. Ready and able I was looking forward to returning to work, being productive, and getting back to what had been my daily routine. Everything checked out well. With a written and signed Return to Work form in hand, I returned home mentally and physically ready to  jump back into life. That was not to be the case after all….

On a spur of the moment, late night ice cream run, returning to the house, I passed* out behind the wheel. What resulted was my hitting an 18 wheeler whose driver did his best to avoid my oncoming vehicle leaving him no choice but to jack knife the trailer. I vaguely remember a panicked voice asking if I was okay followed by a bone chilling screamed response of no. Then my husband was there. My repeated apologies for wrecking the car while adamantly stating I’d fix it, but we had to get it home first.

We live a block from where this happened. He’d literally heard the impact in the house. When he couldn’t reach me on my phone is when he looked out the windows, walked over to the scene, and that’s when he saw me. The Rescue team had just finished cutting me out of the car and was placing me on the stretcher. Later on discussing what I remembered, I thought I was still in the car when I saw him not even realizing that I’d been assessed, cut out, back/neck braced, placed on a stretcher and was being put into the ambulance to be taken to the helio pad. Time had no reference or relevance.

*Later on, after medical review, I was told that the cause for my passing out was due to a complete blockage of the IVC filter that had been placed during my PE hospitalization. I’d been resistant to having one placed for years due to the multiple issues/side effects that had been reported post placement by both medical and patient resources. With the occurrence of not only the size but also the rarity of my pulmonary embolism, medical necessity, and family concern I finally gave in and consented to the procedure.

Remembering Me: Update ~ Part III

Remembering Me

Team Andy ~ Coworkers ~ 2012

Team Andy ~ June 2012

Yesterday I was reminded of a time when one of my goals to achieve during a year was to get healthier and physically fit so that I could walk the entire length of a charity walk. This was the year I participated on both Team Andy for Cystic Fibrosis and also a Relay For Life team within 24 hours one weekend. Afterwards, I began training for next year’s first goal which was The Color Run 5k I would run with my son, Andrew.

Relay For Life ~ Survivor Signatures ~ June 2012

The Color Run ~ April 2013 ~ Springfield, MO

What I didn’t know then was that by taking on this initial goal for Miller Time and Charrae Potter and following thru resulting in a then 50 lb weight loss and becoming a runner, is that it would save my life that Christmas. Because of that year’s life changes, what I was told would have killed me previously, a 1″ clot travelled through my heart instead of stopping it permanently. What was done as a heart felt gestures in supporting friends and their families, literally made my heart stronger which in turn saved me too. 💟💖👟💟💖👟

Willoweagle

Remembering Me ~ Part II

To read Royal’s (my son) story of stroke survival and recovery from a Mother’s perspective, follow this link:

Reflections ~ A Mother’s POV: A Royal Recovery Story

To learn more about my story, follow this link:

I’m A Survivor!!!