Warrior Walk

My ‘thank you’ to all of you who have been with me from the beginning and stuck with me through everything this last 15 mos…

I AM A WARRIOR!!

Like a Warrior that fights
And wins the Battle
I know the taste of Victory
Though I went through some nights
Consumed by the shadows
I was crippled emotionally
Somehow I made it through the heartache
Yes, I escaped.. I found my way out of the #darkness…
Kept the faith

When the River was deep
I didn’t falter
When the Mountain was high
I still Believed
When the Valley was low
It didn’t Stop me
I knew you were waiting for me
~ George Michael

March =
Blood Clot Awareness Month

Serena Williams on David Letterman – Full interview, 22 August, 2013 – YouTube

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I don’t usually actually “watch” late night TV as much as listen to it while staying busy with other things, but tonight during The David Letterman Show I realized it was Ms. Williams that he was interviewing. Yes, she’s an incredible athlete, but that wasn’t what caught my attention. Here she speaks about her recent health issues and on a side note how it affected her mentally as well. Here is the link to the entire interview, but the point in case begins around the 8:25 mark. Follow this link to listen to the shorter version and begins at this point:

Hospital…again

Once again I spent time away from home this week in the hospital. This time it was 5-6 clots in my lower extremities. Yes, both legs.

Just came home last evening and am still really tired. My meds have been changed and increased.

I will post more later, but just wanted to update for now.

Pillow Talk….If Only

This week was my 6 month anniversary since my pulmonary embolism. Yet, I didn’t even realize it until Thursday night….and THEN the party began!!! I saw some old friends I hadn’t seen in quite some time. With being one who talks and socializes a lot, I have only a very few close friends and family that REALLY know me or that I even let in emotionally. That being said, it was still a bit bewildering to me that no one had commented about it. It hadn’t even been remembered, not even my me  until two days after. Surprisingly, it was my Mom that reminded me of it. With my legs propped up as high possible, it was the pillow they were on that was the trigger.  It had been hers. It was with her through nearly all the times she suffered through her blood clots. This pillow is nearly as old as I am and it was one of the first things I acquired after she passed. It was only fitting that I should give it a home with me where it would be used in the fashion it was accustomed to. Now, if only this pillow could talk……..

 

That’s when it happened….the first guest to show up to my party was Mr. Self Pity himself….strutted on in like he owned the place!! ‘Well HELLO BABE….Missed me?’ Every bit of strength I had at that point eroded. I wept…just like the girl I am, I wept!! Thoughts of the last six months flooded my brain. Then the memories of previous experiences when the recovery was so much quicker, easier, and kinder. The set back from the week before with legs swollen the size of tree trunks and them only being about half that size now hadn’t helped matters any either. Mentally, I can leap off tall buildings, fly to the moon and back, but physically, I can barely walk across the room some days, my legs don’t hurt although carrying around the extra weight does tire me out quickly, and I can’t do everything I usually do during the summer. I’m just HERE!! And WHY?!?!?

 

The Agony of “De-Feet”

 

Next to show up was Self Loathing….oh, he’s a sly one…Looking down at my legs, I hated them for failing me. I hate how they look. I hate that I can’t motor them some days and others they are stinging, flaming, itching attachments that I are EXASPERATING!! Just when I think I’ve made it back to ‘normal’, my body reacts and just laughs like I’ve lost my mind..and when it happens, I nearly do. 

 

Then came ANGER!!! I’m angry that I’m not back to the ME I was before all this happened. I’m angry that I have to rely on others at times to do simple things that I should be able to do for myself. I’m angry at having to learn how to deal and cope with yet another facet of this STUPID disease. I’m angry that it’s taken from me. I’M ANGRY!!!!! I’m allowed to be and I have a right to be, but I also know that it’s ok, but to brush myself off and I’ll get back up only to gimp down this path of recovery until I reach the finish line.

 

This weekend though has brought me another perspective on this experience. I have SUPPORT!! Although it may not come in the packages you thought it would, it DOES eventually show up and I’m grateful for it. In the last two months alone, I have had the privilege of meeting some of the most amazing, wonderful, and MIRACULOUS women that it is MY honor to know. Some are bloggers, some are healthcare workers, some are students, but we are ALL survivors!!! If it hadn’t been for long texts, chats, comments, and photos that took place some very long nights, I don’t know that I would have been as open and sharing as I am now. Actually, that’s not true, I KNOW I wouldn’t be. It’s because of them that I took a thought of becoming more open with sharing and support that it grew from a thought, to a blog, and within the last three weeks, both Facebook and Twitter have been graced with my presence. 

 

 

This path I’m on isn’t as easy or rebounding as it’s been previously, but it has brought me friends that understand, commiserate, and get angry with me because they know. It’s brought caregivers a glimpse into our world of being caregivers to them by saying “I’m Fine”, ‘It’s Ok”, and more so that THEY don’t give up parts of themselves for us. Only to be the recipients of our gross temperaments once we do have that frustrated breakdown where everything and everyone is the enemy. It’s also brought me education in the form of our commonality and our differences when it comes to our clotting disorders. We are a very UNIQUE and SPECIFIC group of blood odd-balls all looking for the same thing….a cure….

 

To my friends and my followers…you amaze me every day and bring me such joy with your comments…It’s not MY strength that gets me through,  it’s the strength that YOU give to me.

 

Willoweagle 

 

Shadows of Life

 

 

 

 

Living Your Best Life While Taking Blood Thinners

Read

Blood thinners??? FOR LIFE??? I was only 19, had just given birth to my son, was experiencing my first DVT (arterial no less), and was trying to come to terms with the fact that I was going to be just like my Mom! She had suffered with numerous DVTs (at least one year) from the time I was 5 years old. I was aware of what was in store for me. There wasn’t a medical diagnosis for whatever this blood disorder was, I knew what the treatment was….RAT POISON…COUMADIN!!! I had seen what that entailed. Doctors office visits for regular INRs, changes in doseages consistently, and the bleed outs and bruising. I didn’t want anything to do with it! Then 20÷ years later, I threw yet another DVT while therapeutic. New doctor, new technology, new medication…Lovenox. I took this for a year religiously while suffering consistent sidhe effects of nausea and hair loss. Then another new medication….Arixtra. what a wonderful change. No more side effects! Instead, again while within treatment guidelines, I threw the worst and most clots ever. A pulmonary embolism saddle clot along with bilateral lower extremity DVTs. Currently I am on Xeralto, another new medication on the market, and although its only been a month, it seems to be doing its job…I hope. Here is a very good article from one of my favorite resource sites regarding living with blood thinners. What blood thinners are you on? Are you suffering from side effects? Do you get frustrated

http://www.stoptheclot.org/News/article346.htm#.USMG4JG3PJs

♥ Words To Run By ~ Meet Sara ♥

♥Meet Sara♥

Another survivor shares her story of inspiration, strength, and overcoming the challenges of living with a blood disorder.

How does she heep her wits about her? She RUNS!

I want to introduce you to Sara. A wife, a Marathon runner….A SURVIVOR!!

Sara’s Story ⇨ Survivors Share

I’m a runner, writer, dog-mom, and self-proclaimed hot sauce connoisseur.

I’m also a survivor raising awareness daily about the devestating effects of blood clots.

Words To Run By

My story is not that different than anyone else. I graduated from college, started my first real job as a child welfare caseworker – a field completely unrelated to my degree, of course. I got married on 07/07/07 and we adopted two dogs – Grace and Sadie. Back then, I would have told you I lived a great life, until I discovered – and not without a whole lot of things going really wrong first – that there is more to life and more to me. I wanted more, I needed more, but I had no idea where or with what to start. 

The Clot Must Be Fought – Our Stories

So many lives….so many stories… Other survivors share:

Our Stories @ The Clot Must Be Fought