Reflections ~ A Mother’s POV: Part III


In the chapel at St. John's hospital, this candle lit for my son burned his entire stay.

Sunday, June 5, 2011 ~ Once again the phone rings and rings. ..and again with the voice mail.. again. ..I leave no message. Ok, this is no longer the norm. He should’ve called back or picked up by now. Numerous tries to contact my son had come to no avail. The only update I’d received was from the friend he was staying with in the form of a Facebook message. That just didn’t cut it anymore. Although quite the detailed update, something wasn’t right that he should be sleeping this much. Concern, worry, and fear were the emotions of the day. Yet, I kept thinking to myself, he’s grown, he’s fine, quit hovering!

I spent a wasted night in the bed that night as I tossed, turned, and worried. Sleep escaped me.

Monday, June 6, 2011 ~ I check the phone again as I get up and ready for work. Still no calls! The commute seems like a long one without The Kid to talk to. On arriving at my destination, I alert any of my co-workers that know my son’s voice, to let me know IMMEDIATELY if he should call, no matter where or what! Which of course lead to questions followed by brief descriptions of what was going on.

Mid morning my cell rings. In a panic, I answer it. Not looking at the caller ID, I hadn’t expected the voice on the other end. Its my cousin. Hes calling to let me know that my Granny has passed away. ThIs was neither a phone call I wanted or needed at that moment, but it’s what I was dealt.

Next thought, Andrew needs to know what’s going on and that there will be a trip to Illinois in my near future to attend the funeral. I really needed to get I’m touch with him more urgently than before.

I make the call on my lunch hour, lo and behold it’s picked up. ..yet not by Andrew. The voice that answered was female. She said he was sleeping, so I give her the message that he needed to call me it was urgent as his Granny had passed.

Afternoon turned into evening.I arrive home anxious.

The phone rings. I dive for it like no Olympic trained diver has ever nor will ever attempt in either mine or my grandchildrens life will ever do and succeed. Again, no Andrew. It was Barry. Right then and there, that’s when the fear set in.

“Is this Royal’s Mom? ”
“This is Barry”
A moment of silence, and then a sigh followed by a deep breath.
“Somethings not right. He’s not anything right.”
“What do you mean by not right”
“Well, when I ask him things, he’s not not understanding. He’s giving me odd answers. And his speech is funny. What should I do? ”
“Barry, get him to the emergency room NOW! ! Don’t let him argue with you. Don’t wait around to see what happens. You take him NOW!”
“OK, will get him there”
“Now listen, I’m on my way. You let him know I’m coming. I’ll be on the road in five minutes. You call me! About anything. ..I mean it. ..anything!”

Just before hanging up the phone I believe I heard a Yes Ma’am but won’t quote him.

Running around the house gathering up a few things and explaining to my husband what was going on, I can’t put into words what I was feeling. But it wasn’t good. Quickly giving him a peck on the cheek, an I’ll call when I get there, alone with the be safe, I dash out the door wishing I had wings, but for now four tires and an engine would have to suffice. My son needed me. STAT!!!

The first call I made was to my supervisor to let her know I wouldn’t be in the next morning. Not the best of timing as we’d just merged a private practice with the local hospital, but couldn’t be helped or stopped. Next calls were to family. My dad and my sister accordingly. Each call ended with the promise to call either when I got there or if I heard something before then.

Ok nearly two hours down another two to go. In the stillness of the car and the spinning of my thoughts, the ringtone breaks the silence.

I reach for it like it’s a life ring in my quickly drowning world.

“Yeah, this is Barry”
Silence as I wait
“The doctor wants to know how much longer until you get here”
I look at my dashboard.
“About another hour and a half. Less if I don’t get stopped. Why?”
The simplest of questions can be the ones that have can have the most devastating of answers I learned in the blink of an eye.
“It’s Royal. He has a clot in his brain. It’s not good”

In that moment, my world crashed in around me.I couldn’t breathe. I was literally gasping for air. My heart was breaking. My mind was screaming. Nothing. ..nothing gets in the way of a mother and her child and that held true even then. My foot heavier on the gas pedal. I sped faster to my son. He needed me. He needed his mother. NOTHING was going to stop me.


→Reflections ~ A Mother’s POV: Part IV

Tomorrow Will be the last posting in this series. Find out what happens and how this story of survival continues today.

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